Thursday, July 30, 2009
Those nasty, jealous feelings. Last year I got to deal with a teammate who got pregnant on purpose to try to make her boyfriend of 8 years propose. So mature, I know. While she will never admit to the "on purpose" part of the whole thing, everyone in the world knows it to be true. BF stayed but did not propose. He's been a great support and new dad, she is one lucky sh**. That was a very difficult school year to watch her belly grow and hear how she didn't even know until she was 5 months, whatever. All the baby talk made us want to run the other way. Especially since two of us are going through infertility. Yes, two teachers in first grade at the same school are going through IF. Craziness. Anyway, yesterday my good friend and teammate came to visit me. She called out of the blue and said she'd be in my town for bloodwork and wanted to know if she could stop by. I didn't think much of it because this is not completely out of the ordinary. After hanging out and joking around for about 2 hours, she proceeded to tell me that she's 5 weeks pregnant. She's about to be 37 and has been with her boyfriend for about a year. They've talked marriage but not for another year or so. She told him to not propose just because of the baby. She is completely conflicted. She's shocked, scared, nervous and completely anxious. She knows that she's getting older and time is running out so on one hand she's looking at this as a blessing but on the other hand this was not in her plan and she's a planner! While I do feel for her and the feelings towards her are completely different than my immature teammate's pregnancy, I am still jealous and quite upset. She did apologize to me because she knew how it would make me feel. Hey, it's not her fault I'm going through his, right. But still, those feelings are there. I'm just so tired of having to do what us IF's have to go through to get and stay pregnant and have all of these "accidents" happening around me. UGH! I'm feeling sorry for myself today!